MINISTRY//Unmarried in China

They are leftover women.

Two young women I know in China are struggling with being 30-years-old without being married. Both are working long hours to establish themselves in their careers. Both are praying for a Christian husband. Both are feeling increasing pressure from their families (including aunts, uncles, and cousins) to marry someone.

Unmarried in China

Being 30-years-old and unmarried in the United States brings its own pressure on people to find a spouse. This is common, even though first marriages after thirty are becoming more common.  

The pressure to marry is much greater in China. That’s apparent from the Chinese term for anyone who is over 27 and not married: leftover.

Adult children are responsible for taking care of aging parents. So for my friends, the thought of having to live through old age without a child to care for them is discouraging. But an immediate concern is that their parents expect grandchildren and their extended families vote with their parents. 

Unmarried Chinese Christians

Neither of these women is from Christian homes. Their desire to find a believing husband is not understood by their families. Both are considering "settling" for a man, any man, who would marry them. 

The fear of spending one's life alone is daunting. But in a country where 90% of the people are not Christian, the chances of finding a Christian spouse are limited.  In addition, many non-Christians would not be interested in marrying a believer.

The struggle and solution

In those situations, encouragement to trust that God has a beneficial plan for their lives can seem unrealistic. Celebrating their singleness with its freedoms can seem silly. Comforting themselves with the logic that it's better to be unmarried than to be married to the wrong person can seem senseless.

316NOW strives to help young women like my two friends to cling to the assurance that the Savior who endured the punishment for their sins and who has given them heaven knows how best to direct their lives. Better than that, 316NOW strives to help them to share that good news with others.

What you can do: Ask the Spirit to help Chinese Christians who are struggling with their circumstances to find lasting comfort in their Father's never-failing love for them.

For more information about China’s leftover men and women: South China Morning Press, BBC.